Relationship and Family Mediation

Mediation is a process where a neutral third party with no decision making power – the mediator – helps people to negotiate a settlement to their dispute. One of the most important differences between mediation and the court process (which is called litigation) is that mediation allows people to reach agreements that meet everyone’s interests. The court process, on the other hand, focuses on opposing legal rights and obligations of the parties. In litigation, one person wins and the other person loses.

Family Law Mediation is a type of dispute resolution based on the cooperation and maintenance of a friendly relationship between separating or divorcing partners. This method consists of a neutral third party who is present during meetings, and assists the parties in coming to an agreement of all issues pertaining to the dissolution of their relationship. There are two types of family law mediation, including closed mediation and open mediation. Closed mediation is completely confidential, as nothing is disclosed. Open mediation does not entail any confidentiality and does not prohibit the disclosure of the proceedings or decisions within the mediation.
This form of dispute resolution is client based, in that the parties control the entire process with only the help of a neutral third party. The spouses will be required to co-operate with and listen to each other, while regarding the other’s opinions and needs. If the parties are having difficulties coming to a final decision of an issue, or are having disagreements, the mediator cannot impose a settlement. The mediator does not act as a lawyer, as well as they do not advise the parties of their legal rights or obligations. The mediator simply acts as a guide within the proceedings, attempting to maintain the communication and consideration of the important issues between the parties.
It is strongly advised that the parties consult with lawyers prior to participating in mediation, as the process can only be fully secured if it is informed, as well as having lawyers present helps to protect the rights and interests of each party, which may result in a more efficient resolution of the issues. Mediation ensures that all decisions made within the proceedings are made in the best interest of all parties, ensuring a fair and peaceful resolution.

Family mediators are there to help you to reach decisions about things that are important for you and your family. They can help you to find a way to plan for the future and to agree what will work best for you without having to go to court. That can save you time, money and stress.

Mediation provides you with the space and time to think about what is most important for your children and for the whole family. You can work out how arrangements for your children will work best and think about what is going to be important for your children as they grow up.

Regardless of whether you are a parent or not, mediation can help you deal with your money, the options you may have about where you will live, and planning your future finances.

Contact me as soon as you need help sorting things out. Even if you’ve been separated for a while, or if your case has already gone to court, mediation can still help to resolve things.

You can’t usually take your case to court until you find out if mediation can help you first. If you can’t show that you’ve considered it, the judge may stop or delay proceedings until you have.

Mediators are trained to:
> Listen and help you both to work out what has to be dealt with
> Discuss what your options might be and what might work best for the future.
> Make sure you both have chance to speak and be heard
> Provide any information needed to help your discussions
> Tell you when you might need further independent advice on matters
> Ensure decisions are made jointly, are fair for both of you, for any children involved, and for your family circumstances

When you reach agreement, the mediator will put it in writing and make sure you’re all clear about what it means.

When you choose to go to a mediator–whether for a relationship problem at home or at work, you are saying ”THIS MATTERS!”

That is a big step in the right direction. It actually matters little if you decide to go for mediation because you want the problem to end or you want the relationship to end at that moment. Mediation will help you figure that out.
It’s a wise choice to use a mediator if you want to restore and rekindle your relationship, or you want to end it consciously so that you can co-parent well following a divorce or separation.

Mediation is usually complete within three to six sessions. Sometimes, all it takes is one. Sessions, though, do tend to run two or three hours in length. This makes it different than counseling which is a long-term strategy for resolving issues over time.
Mediation is a short-term strategy for creating long-term agreements in specific areas of the relationship. It’s not a long-term commitment to improving the health of the relationship on many levels over time.

Mediation is more focused on how people would like to see things in the future rather than accounts and analyses of past events. Although our present behavior is predicated upon our past, mediation is focused on the specifics of the current issue being mediated.
A counselor’s role is different than a mediator’s in this regard: the mediator is not focused on the origins and patterns of behavior that have lead to the current relationship problems. The mediator works with what is to create an agreement both parties can live with in the long-term.

Mediators are trained to be neutral, to view each participant in the mediation as they are at the minute and to take no sides. This is a major difference for the counseling or therapeutic interaction where the focus is on moving towards health for all concerned, including the relationship. The mediator controls the process but cannot influence outcomes, except that factual information such as laws that the mediator may provide may, in fact, influence outcomes. It is NOT the mediator who influences, just the facts.

Mediation occurs between two parties. Sometimes, initially, the two parties are willing to negotiate and do so through a mediator, however, they are not ready to sit in the same room. This involves a process knows an “shuttle diplomacy” or “shuttle mediation” where the mediator goes between the parties until they are able or willing to talk directly with the mediator together. This is obviously different from counseling where one person in a relationship can seek counseling without the other ever intending to appear.
I have, however, worked with only one divorcing party to coach that person on how to proceed to get the best settlement for themselves when the other party was disinterested in or hostile to mediation. That is coaching for divorce, not mediation. Mediation only occurs when there are two people with two points of view present.

If you have a relationship problem that you both want to solve, whether it is at home or at work, choose mediation.